Slow Runners

The Tortoises (Slow Runners) in Tekkies

As I wrote that heading, I just pictured a tortoise in tekkies.

1 tekkie on each foot. 4 in total.

I bet you just pictured that as well now, right?

*Tekkies are basically running shoes [For my international readers]

The Fears That Slow Runners Face

There are many fears that are quite obvious and that us as slow runners will speak about openly…..

  • Coming last (Sue knows all about this)
  • Not making cutoff
  • Not getting a medal
  • Getting swept

Some of the lesser known fears of a slow runner

*Based on my experience

1. Potty Time

Imagine getting that sudden urge to pee or poo at kilometer 5 and you have to use the porta loo? Using the porta loo is bad enough as it is.

Now imagine using that porta loo after thousands of the faster runners have used it already.

The slow runners always get left with the shit.

*If you have a good toilet sense of humor, read this now

2. Getting Lost

You are laughing, but this is a real fear.

Race or a long run, there is a huge possibly that if you are like myself, with no sense of direction, you can get lost.

The front and faster runners are already be back home, taking pictures of themselves biting their medals, and you will still be trying to figure out if the sun rises in the North or East.

3. Running Out of Water

Slow runners also get thirsty.

You huff and puff and pant more than Sue does on a good night out. The water is possibly finished, or that they have already packed up the water table.

It’s at this moment where you start thinking….

Fuck, I haven’t watched enough Bear Grylls to know how to drink my own pee

Check out my backpack survival kit here

Some more fears….

  • What if the camera dude has gone home, there will be no photos of you
  • You start praying that your lift hasn’t left without you, cause you can’t possibly walk home
  • What if you collapse and no one finds you

To every slow runner out there…..

You are brave, strong, inspiring, hard working and you are showing the rest of the slow runners that are too scared to join a race, that it can be done!

Show Up

Keep Smiling

Don’t Drink Your Own Pee

See my latest transformation here