Weekends, unlike personalities, we all have them.

3 weekends in a row of not being active and doing what I love, and I feel I need to focus extra hard on not going back to the thug life.

Below are 7 reasons as to why you most likely “gained weight” on the weekend;

1. You gave zero fucks

Sometimes you need to give a fuck, not always, but sometimes. When it comes to you, your body, and your tribe, you should give a fuck. Don’t be like Sue and waste your fucks, keep them and use them on yourself.

Avoid by: Giving a fuck

2. You drank too many Jagerbombs

Yes Dick, you were drinking Jagerbombs! The drunk you not only thought it was a great idea to take Sue home, but you also thought it would be necessary to take two King Steers Burgers, 2L Creme Soda and 3 large fries home.

Avoid by: Self control

3. You are full of shit

Literally. You eat more over weekends, you sleep later, you give zero fucks and your routine is not the same as during the week. You sleep in, you miss your regular bowel movement. [Read More: Running 4 the toilet]

Avoid by: Pushing harder

4. One night stands

Like Sue & Dick, you not only had Steers but you also had unprotected drunk sex and you are now pregnant. Your weight will continue increasing over several months.

Avoid by: Wrap it before you tap it

5. You’ve been carbo loading

Q. Carbo loading for a race are you?

A. No, just for fun!

All the carbs that you didn’t eat during the week because you are on diet have now been consumed over the weekend, just because.

Avoid by: Moderation

6. You forgot to stay hydrated

No Dick, Beer is not a good form of hydration BTW! Just because it is the weekend and Cape Town has water restrictions, doesn’t mean we all need to drink only beer!

Avoid by: Drink more water

7. You are a self absorbed prick

Focusing less on yourself and more on others might make the urge to indulge less.

Avoid by: Don’t be a doos, be lekker!

Side note: Take up running or some for of exercise and you wont have time to get into trouble over weekends.

Please note that I am not saying that one weekend of over indulging is going to make you gain weight, that is probably just the extra carbs holding water…..

but, keep in mind, there are 52 weekends in a year

Avoiding thug life: Find a garden and work in it!