Quick Fixes, not one night stands
The quickies I am talking about here are not the number 1 preferred quickies by Sue, but rather the quick fixes that 92.1% of the human population have tried to lose weight.
| People |
People are desperate
Believe what they want
Hear what they want
People think they know everything
People are mean
Just like running, there are no shortcuts on race day. I mean, you could take a shortcut, get lost and probably end up running double the amount than you should have.
Sue asks Siri: How to lose weight fast
Siri: I can’t find what you are looking for, did you mean “How to lose your morals and lower your standards”
“Runs to the shop to buy ingredients and tools for next fad diet”
I have a few simple questions:
> The magic nut diet: What is going to happen when you stop shitting yourself continuously for 3 months but proceed to eat KFC?
> The cabbage soup diet: What is going to happen when you stop consuming 13.2 calories per day from your soup and increase it back to 3620 cupcake calories per day?
> The lemon juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper mixed in water diet: What is going to happen when you start consuming solids again?
> The injection diet: Why the fuck would you inject yourself?
> The grapefruit diet: What is going to happen when you get bored of eating grapefruit for 10 days in a row?
> The “cut your calories to below negative diet”: Actually this pretty much explains all the above.
After two weeks of dieting, you are going to celebrate that it is over and put on an extra 10.5kg. You probably thinking “What gives her the right to say that”. Well, because I have been there, done that!
The only running you will be doing when on these diets is the running to the toilet!
When people are desperate they will believe anything and also try anything.
- Don’t be one of those people, you are better than that.
- See a professional for advice.
- You were given brains, use them.
- Sue is easy, weight loss is not easy
As difficult as it is, you need to create a lifestyle and practice moderation. Will it easy? No fucken way!
I know, I am there, and I am sucking at this right now. #ProceedsToStressEat
For anyone out there that has lost weight and has been paid to say you have used “product X” when actually you didn’t, you are part of the problem.
*Parents, Granny & family disclaimer: There is absolutely no substance in the syringe I have hanging out my mouth in the picture used. It is filled with air, good clean air.