Is Arnica Ice the flakka of cooling gel / spray for injury?
ARNICA ICE is a cooling gel as an aid in the relief of stiffness and soreness, painful muscles, tendons & joints.
Benefits of Arnica Ice
1. Emergency Air Freshener
Fart in your office just before a meeting? Hakuna Matata, just grab your emergency can of Arnica Ice out of your bottom drawer and spray the shit out of the office. #PunIntended
Bob: You hurt yourself at gym this morning?
Me: Nah man, just pulled a muscle trying to give AF about this meeting.
2. You receive discovery points when purchasing this product
Discovery is our private medical aid because we don’t have time, or enough blood, to queue for days at a government hospital. In South Africa Discovery points are a big thing. It’s like a competition, but for what I am not sure.
Sue: How many Vitality Discovery Points did you get for the week?
Me: 500, you?
Sue: 900! Whwhahaha, lalalalal, I win I Win
Me: Cool, what you going to do with the points?
Sue: I am not sure, maybe get a Vida Coffee, maybe let the point expire.
*Probably let the rewards expire
3. It makes everything numb
Struggling with arthritis? Numb that shit. Struggling with a sore shoulder? Numb that shit. Struggling with a broken heart? Numb that shit.
Disclaimer: Arnica Ice is not the cause of emotional numbness. This could be caused by being surrounded by idiots.
4. Can double up as pepper spray
When going to gym during the dark hours of the morning, be sure to carry the Arnica Spray in your hand. Spray directly at attackers eyes.
Attacker 1 to Attacker 2 Upon seeing Arnica Ice: Look an easy, old & Injured target
Me to attacker: Ha, fooled you mudda fukka, spshshpshhh*insert sound of spraying
5. Hides the fact that you are a water warrior
With the serious drought in Cape Town we need to find as many ways as possible to save water. We can skip showers and spray Arnica Ice over our clothing. If anyone asks, we just say we are suffering from a stiff shoulder.
Walk around Cape Town smelling of fresh menthol instead of old socks.
Inappropriate use if Arnica Ice
- Athletes foot is not a sports Injury, go see a doctor.
- The Arnica Gel should not be mistaken for a lubricant.
- Nivea make deodorant, Arnica don’t.
For more helpful information on this product please click here