Booze & Diets

My first several diets failed and I wasn’t sure why

I wasn’t sure why I wasn’t losing weight when I was at the gym and eating healthy for 5 days of the week.

WTF was I doing wrong, why are my clothes getting tighter and why are my eyes so red on Saturday morning, why is it all so damn difficult I asked myself over and over.

There are 7 days in a week you dummy, not 5.

The weekends also count, believe it or not.


Sue has been put on a diet that allows her to consume 1800 calories per day.

Monday: Sue consumes 1800 Calories and goes to the gym

Tuesday: Sue is tired and skips gym but still consumes 1800 calories.

Wednesday: Sue goes for a run and consumes 1800 calories.

Thursday: Sue consumes 1800 calories.

Friday: Sue consumes 1800 calories in food. Sue goes to the pub, gets absolutely hammered off all sorts of sugary cocktails and ends up having sex with Dick the local. (That counts as a workout, right?)

Saturday: Sue avoids the gym like she is avoiding Dick because she feels like shit. Sue is to hungover to eat healthy. Sue orders 3000 calories worth of pizza just for breakfast.

Sunday: Sue thinks to herself “Diet starts Monday” as she consumes her King Steers Meal.


Picture Credit: Carter Good

I think the above scenario paints a pretty clear picture as to why Sue will not get rid of that extra body fat before summer.

PS, Sue practiced safe sex with Dick.



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