There is so much bread and pastries in Germany that the saying should go “gluten morgen” instead of guten morgen.
Greeted by Gluten
If you follow me on social media, you will know that I have just returned from a business trip to Germany.
Sue: “Mandy, it has literally been all over your social media, we couldn’t fucken miss it”
Mandy: “Go eat a gluten filled bread roll shaped as a dick, Sue”
This trip to Germany has taught me many things…
- This trip taught me that you can be angry for no apparent reason.
- It taught me that South Africans don’t have the worst accent out there.
- Not everyone is blessed with a sense of humor.
- It taught me that deodorant is an optional extra.
- Providing great coffee is not the Germans main priority, being angry is.
I have been fortunate enough to have traveled to 15 countries, all for work, and have provided me with pleasant experiences.
Except for this trip….
- My suitcases wheels broke
- Charging cables stopped working
- Universal adapters were bought and forgotten
- Went shopping without my own shopping bag, got shouted at
- Tripod for my camera used for Instagram broke
- Addresses changed due to construction
- Loads of running for and missing taxis took place
- Train delays had me missing connections in the middle of bumfuck nowhere
- Yes you guessed it, no one spoke English
- Except the hobo begging for money, he was fluent in English
Disclaimer: Thank goodness this was a work trip – All my meetings had super nice, friendly people who welcomed me with nice coffee. My work, my meetings, were were safe haven 🙂
What running, weight loss and my German trip have in common
1 | Just Wing It
Go in with a plan and a goal and then just wing everything in between. When you pull it off you just act like you knew what you were doing from the get go.
2 | Confidence is key
Act confident. Even though you are shitting yourself, just act like you know what you are doing.
*Once again, if you are following me on social media, you would know that I can’t shit myself now because I am constipated AF.
Sue: “Mandy, are you constipated because you fell victim to the gluten products and ate them all?
Mandy: “No Sue, I a constipated because I put the gluten products up my bum”
Yes I am constipated because I ate way too much bread
3 | Patience
Good Lord, you are going to need patience. Shit is not always going to go your way. You are going to come across some proper assholes which you can’t avoid. Patience should be key.
4 | Initiative
We all have it, some just chose not to use it. Be creative. Instead of giving up when things don’t work out, just think of a different way of doing it.
Also, In other news….
It’s OK to eat gluten
Eat that Gluten, only (mostly) hipsters are Gluten intolerant, and from my travel experience, most hipsters are based in Melbourne, Australia.
The bananas in Germany are small
Sue won’t like Germany
She likes big bananas
Sue: “Mandy, I am sure Germany has cucumbers?”
Once again, for those following my Instagram stories you will know that the gluten made me constipated.
I am happy to say that this is no longer the case.
*Instagram stories can be found here @running4meyer