You know what they say about assumptions?
Assumptions make an ass out of you and me
Assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups.
- Jennifer Aniston assumed that Angelina Jolie wasn’t a threat.
- The Proteas assumed they would win the 2019 cricket world cup because they hiked up Table Mountain and made a video of it.
- We all assumed Eminem knew how to eat his mom’s spaghetti
- Sue assumed she could keep her legs closed when consuming alcohol
Daily assumptions you need to stop making…
1. Your shoes are going to put themselves on and take you for a run
Unless you are Cinderella, you should have both shoes. Put them on and go for that damn run.
*Seriously, the toughest part about running or any exercise is putting those shoes on and getting out the door.
2. Salads are the way forward to losing weight
You need to stop believing that lettuce leaves are the way forward. We all know the way forward is cauliflower. If Cinderella’s shoes were made from Cauliflower, she would have never lost one.
* Seriously, the way forward is a well maintained, healthy(ish) lifestyle.
3. You will use your gym membership one day
If you have had your gym membership for 6 months and still haven’t used it, you are best off donating that money to UNICEF, I think that little fly is in need of a pay increase shortly.
*Seriously, a gym membership is nice to have, but it is not a necessity.
4. Vodka can make you dance
Dude, that is exactly what Cinderella thought, and look how that ended for her.
*Seriously, if you can’t dance, then you can’t dance. The end.
5. I’ll only have one
“I’ll only take one cookie out of the cookie jar”. 5 minutes later your hand is back in that cookie jar. 10 minutes later you have five cookies in your mouth, evidence of cookie crumbs around your mouth, and your finger prints on the cookie jar.
*Seriously, stay away from the cookie jar, it is a dangerous place. If you lack self control, set boundaries and try to stick to them.
Before you assume……
That you CAN’T do something
Try doing it first
- Before you assume you can’t eat certain foods on diet, calculate your calories.
- Think someone else’s life is better than yours? Try focusing on your own happiness.
Think you can dance, but you really can’t?
Just dance. If it makes you happy, do it. Don’t assume people are judging you!
I can’t dance, but guess what? I still do – Check out my smooth dance moves here