Types of Runners

Runners are strange, but awesome people

I may not be a runner that attends every race on the calendar, but I have done enough to observe that there are various types of different runners….


  1. The overly competitive runner

These are the runners that will take every opportunity to tell you about their running times.

  • Mandy:That was a fantastic 10 km race
  • Sue:It sure was, what was your time?
  • Mandy:Uhm, does the time really matter?
  • Shocked Sue:Of course it does, if you are not first you are last, and I ran it in 45 minutes, which is 2 minutes 35 seconds slower than my PB but it is faster than the average runner
  1. Those that hog the water tables

Peter, take your water and fuck off, you don’t have to hang around and have casual chats with the water table attendant. If you want her number just ask!

  1. The models 

These runners think they are on the catwalk instead of the road. Everything about them screams pretentious. They will go as far as having their teeth whitened just before the race so that they can have the perfect picture.

Their Instagram pictures read:

Just ran a marathon, exhausted AF and look like shit, but it was absolutely worth it”.

To me their picture looks like they just got out the shower and if my mobile phone had a smell app I would be able to smell their Axe body spray through the phone.

  1. The drama queens

Everything about the race was shit, fuck, it was awful.

  • The entry fee was too expensive
  • The t-shirts were horrible
  • There were not enough medals
  • Traffic to the race was a nightmare

As “shit” as the race was, these are the people that will do that same race every year.

  1. The running couples

I see this in every race – Couples running together. It is great to watch.

One minute they are busy arguing alongside the road, the next minute they are busy making love in front of the camera for that “perfect” couples’ picture.

  1. Filled with excuses runner

Sorry, I can’t join you for a long run this weekend, it is my cat’s birthday. It is also my cats birthday next weekend, and the weekend thereafter.

  1. Always misses registration cut-off date

As a runner you should know more or less what races you want to do. You make a note and set reminders…

Not everyone.

5 Minutes after entries close…

Shit, I missed cut off, does anyone have a spare entry to sell me?


Sorry not sorry if I offended anyone

I am definitely not number 3

Seriously Peter, move the fuck away from the water table

*This is just for LOL’s


I know that there are many more that can be added to this list….. Drop them in the comments below.