Fueled by frustration

The other day, while working on my fitness, someone said to me….

“Mandy, you make it look so easy”

I responded with a soft, sarcastic, almost joyous laugh. I then proceeded to eat my marshmallows.

Did you know: Marshmallows, just like a bag of dicks, are great for keeping your thoughts to yourself. When your mouth is too full, you can’t express your opinion.

I struggle, I am next in line for the presidency of struggle street. Yes, I also get frustrated, but this only fuels me to work harder.

I am fueled by frustration

It feels like I am always saying no, and that frustrates me. No I don’t want that cheesy pizza, no I don’t want that beer, no I don’t want to smoke flakka, no I am too tired to go to beefcakes, or no, I don’t want those honey coated pancakes.

Of course I want the stupid pancakes. 

Everyone wants the pancakes.

Everyday I get frustrated 

  • By the traffic
  • When things don’t go the way I panned
  • When my feet get sore after running only 1 km
  • Because I stopped smoking
  • When my jeans get tighter even though I haven’t eaten anything wrong (except the marshmallows)
  • By people telling me how to do things when they are in no position to do so
  • When I see running gear that I really want but I can’t afford it
  • When I eventually get the pancakes and they are not everything I was dreaming of
  • When I know I am working my ass off, but their are no clear results

The easy way out would be to give up.

Easy is the girl on the corner asking only for R50 & a shot of Tequila.

I don’t do the easy way.

You see, I am very different. I am persistent. I will get what I want, it may not be now, but eventually I will get what I want.

A prime example of me being a persistent little fu^*$r….

I loved smoking. I gave up smoking.

I crave cigarettes every damn day.

I love beer on a summer Friday afternoon. The urge to smoke while drinking is worse than the urge of slapping some pretentious bitch who judges everyone.

I gave up drinking, just to fight the urge of smoking.

*I know what I want, and what I want is NOT to smoke, so I need to do everything possible to fight these urges. 

Where there is a will, there is a way.

A very difficult way, but its there.

Don’t give up. Fight the frustration. Do what is good for you. Fight for what you want.

You need to work for what you want.

*Disclaimer 1: Narcissists annoy the living shit out of me.

*Disclaimer 2: I miss smoking

*Disclaimer 3: I have never smoked flakka

7 Comments Add yours

  1. juliehcares says:

    I haven’t quit smoking. It’s the only thing I have left. I am eating healthy, not drinking sugary soda, not eating grains or sugar, exercising (although I enjoy that), and everything else I’m supposed to be doing so dammit, I’m not quitting smoking yet!
    By the way, awesome job on quitting! It is so very hard to do and look at you! 👍

    1. Smoking was the last thing that I quit, and I struggle every day with it. I loved it more than I love Saturdays 🙂 Keep up the good work!!

      1. juliehcares says:

        You too!

  2. icrci18 says:

    I’ve just joined WordPress and I was using the discover button and came across your blog. You’re fudging hilarious! Literally everything you say above I can relate to. I have also quit smoking, I completely understand your pain of still wanting one every single day! I’m also trying to lose weight and constantly say no to things I really bloody want! Even if Janet from down the hall tells me I deserve a treat… NO!
    Keep going 🙂 I have followed your blog just to humour myself some more 🙂

    1. This is fantastic. Thanks for the awesome feedback. Together we can overcome Janet from down the hall 🙂

  3. thisvetruns says:

    Love this. It’s the worst when you’ve done something that takes consistent graft and effort- and make out it’s easy for you! Frustration is one of my most common emotions 🙈

    1. 100%. It may look easy running that race, but the hard part is the consistent early Saturday mornings, long runs and everything else that no one really sees.

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