I have gained weight. Yes that’s correct, I have gained some extra weight, 4.8 kilograms to be exact.
I am human and my struggle is also real
Having previously lost 35 kilograms, I know exactly what to do and how to do it, but it got me thinking…..
How does a newbie go about losing weight?
Google, they will most likely Google the do’s and don’ts of weight loss. Let me be honest, Google has mostly do’s and very few don’ts – It seems everything is a go when trying to lose weight.
6 Weight Loss Tricks That Work
1. Eat chocolate for breakfast
According to them you should get rid of the craving as soon as possible and then go on with your day.
Advice: It is probably best that you don’t eat chocolate for breakfast
2. Eat with a guy
Research shows that eating in front of a guy makes you eat less.
Wait, what? How is it that some women have no problem jumping into that guys bed, but when it comes to eating in front of him its a problem.
Peter: “What do you want for dinner?”
Sue: “I don’t like eating in front of men I hardly know”
Peter: “Don’t be silly, eat something”
Sue:” Oh no, I am way too shy, why don’t I rather suck your dick”
3. Eat big chunks of food
This will trick your brain into thinking you are eating more food.
Advice: If your brain is that easily fooled then you have bigger problems.
4. Sniff a peppermint
The only benefit I can think of is that it is healthier than sniffing cocaine.
5. Red plates make you eat less
If you are addicted to food the color of your pate has fokkol to do with the amount you will eat.
6. The 1000 calorie per day diet
So basically you pay someone that knows nothing about you and your eating habits R100 to give you and 587989074 other people the same eating plan.
Yes you will lose weight, because you are fucken starving yourself!
Anyone who eats 1000 calories per day will lose weight and possibly do damage to their body and mental well being.
What you and I really need to do right now:
- Focus on prepping our meals in advance
- Know what food serves what functions for our body
- Increase our water intake
- Eat off whatever color plates we goddamn feel like
- Throw the peppermints away, we are not alcoholics, we don’t need to hide the smell of morning binge drinking
- Ask for help
- Don’t pay strangers to starve us #StrangerDanger
- Always read labels on food packets
- Avoid sugars in sauces and tinned food
- Stop looking for quick fixes
- Set goals for ourselves.
Note that every person is different and some people have different needs than others. Just because I use whey protein (3D Nutrition), doesn’t mean that you have to.
Find out what works for you.
Disclaimer: I am not a dietitian / fitness professional or nutritionist. I am not super human and I have cravings too.