1000 Calories to Starvation

 

I have gained weight. I added more calories to my diet than I should have. Yes that’s correct, I have gained some extra weight, 4.8 kilograms to be exact.

I am human and my struggle is also real

Having previously lost 35 kilograms, I know exactly what to do and how to do it, but it got me thinking…..

How does a newbie go about losing weight? 

Google, they will most likely Google the do’s and don’ts of weight loss. Let me be honest, Google has mostly do’s and very few don’ts – It seems everything is a go when trying to lose weight.

Google says:

6 Weight Loss Tricks That Work

1. Eat chocolate for breakfast

According to them you should get rid of the craving as soon as possible and then go on with your day.

Advice: It is probably best that you don’t eat chocolate for breakfast

2. Eat with a guy

Research shows that eating in front of a guy makes you eat less.

Wait, what? How is it that some women have no problem jumping into that guys bed, but when it comes to eating in front of him its a problem.

Peter: “What do you want for dinner?”

Sue: “I don’t like eating in front of men I hardly know”

Peter: “Don’t be silly, eat something”

Sue:” Oh no, I am way too shy, why don’t I rather suck your dick”

3. Eat big chunks of food

This will trick your brain into thinking you are eating more food.

Advice: If your brain is that easily fooled then you have bigger problems.

4. Sniff a peppermint

The only benefit I can think of is that it is healthier than sniffing cocaine.

5. Red plates make you eat less

If you are addicted to food the color of your pate has fokkol to do with the amount you will eat.

6. The 1000 calorie per day diet

So basically you pay someone that knows nothing about you and your eating habits R100 to give you and 587989074 other people the same eating plan.

Yes you will lose weight, because you are fucken starving yourself!

Anyone who eats 1000 calories per day will lose weight and possibly do damage to their body and mental well being.

What you and I really need to do right now:

  • Focus on prepping our meals in advance
  • Know what food serves what functions for our body
  • Increase our water intake
  • Eat off whatever color plates we goddamn feel like
  • Throw the peppermints away, we are not alcoholics, we don’t need to hide the smell of morning binge drinking
  • Ask for help
  • Don’t pay strangers to starve us #StrangerDanger
  • Always read labels on food packets
  • Avoid sugars in sauces and tinned food
  • Stop looking for quick fixes
  • Set goals for ourselves.

Note that every person is different and some people have different needs than others. Just because I use whey protein (3D Nutrition), doesn’t mean that you have to.

Find out what works for you.

Read more about meal prepping here

Disclaimer: I am not a dietitian / fitness professional or nutritionist. I am not super human and I have cravings too.

Like you, I am human too

8 Comments Add yours

  1. rachrn34 says:

    This is awesome! I love your blogs and they always arrive at the perfect time. I was just having this conversation with my friend who has almost lost all of her baby weight (Kid number 11~thats another story). What works for one does not work for another. If I don’t write down what i eat I cannot stay in control. I’m currently up about 7KG from where I want to be. Have been for months but finally 9 days ago I got back to keeping track of what I am shoving in my mouth. Why is it so easier to fall off the wagon, gain weight overnight than to lose it? GRRRRR

    1. All I got from that was 11 kids!! 😂 On a serious note, thanks for the feedback, means a lot! Also, yes falling off the wagon sucks, but I feel it brings me back down to earth at the same time, and each fall comes with a lesson! Good luck with staying on track.

  2. juliehcares says:

    Chocolate for breakfast? 1000 calories a day? Is Google actually suggesting this garbage? Wow. That’s crazy. I’m glad we are not having to look stuff up like that!

    1. Well it’s not Google as such, but it’s all he articles on Google. Crazy right?

      1. juliehcares says:

        Very crazy!

  3. Botendaddy says:

    What’s a kilogram? Is that some kind of Jacobin-Robespierre thing? Should I be recording those on the 18eme Brumaire?

    Thanks for visiting my site MM.

    Peace be the Botendaddy

  4. Such a great honest post! I laughed out loud at the ‘rather I’d suck your dick’ 😂🙈
    I just posted a ‘10 ways to cut calories and still enjoy summer’ if you’d like to take a read! https://jaydecharlottereader.com/2018/05/14/10-ways-to-cut-calories-but-still-enjoy-summer/ xxx

  5. snyderfambam says:

    I’ve seen some strange fads but these ones you have found take the cake lol.
    Honestly the only “diet” I have seen that works is the weightwatchers freestyle diet because it doesn’t train you to say “NO” To all the fun things. It does however train you to say yes to better choices… assuming you actually did it right.
    The point of “dieting” isn’t to starve yourself or not stay full, it’s about eating the right things to nourish yourself. But really, a “diet” shouldn’t be a short-lived thing. It should be a springboard for a life change, otherwise it will never matter what you do. You will always revert back to your pre-diet bod… unless you are some freak of nature. Like, I’m talking it is more likely that Y2K will get summoned today, and all of NASA’s satellites will fall out of the sky at this very instant; than you are to maintain your post-diet bod without an actual permanent lifestyle change

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