The Running Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe: Someone who exceeds the limits of being a normal douche or douche bag.

The Douche on the road

  • Do you take 4593 sachets of water, only use 10 and throw the rest away?
  • Do you throw your empty water sachets on the ground, next to the bin?
  • Do you push your way to the front even though you know your time is slow?
  • Do you run with your earphones in even when the rules clearly state no earphones?
  • Do you dress like a clown?
  • Do you thinking cycling is for pussy’s?

Answer yes to all of the above?

Congrats, you are a Douche Canoe!

The Douche on the trails

  • Do you go hiking in your flip flops?
  • Do you throw your litter on the ground?
  • Do you feed the animals when the signs clearly say “no feeding animals”?
  • Do you shit in the bush?
  • Do you refuse to help those struggling because it means you will have to pause your fitness tracker?
  • Do you feel bad if you have to crack a smile?

Answer yes to all of the above?

Congrats, you are a Douche Canoe!

The Douche in the gym

  • Do you look down on the new comers?
  • Do you hog all the equipment and refuse to share?
  • Do you sweat all oven the place and not clean it?
  • Do you make noises similar to an over sized gorilla during mating season?

Answer yes to all of the above?

Congrats, you are a Douche Canoe!

Disclaimer: The only thing harmed during the making of this article were the feelings, of the Douche Canoes!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. rachrn34 says:

    Loved this. Especially after I read it I got on Facebook to see a former friend had left a douche canoe comment on a mural friend post about a break up. Your blog is in my life for a reason!! Keep writing!!

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