Got Milk?

Ph(f)at to fit –Β [Things I wish I knew]

#01 | MODERATION

Sue’s milkshake brings all the boys to the pub!

So, I am sure you and every other person in the room has heard of bulletproof coffee, titanium coffee, or whatever the hell you want to call it.

If you haven’t, here’s what it is:

Black coffee, no sugar, no milk – Here’s the twist, just add some raw egg, coconut oil and some butter, if you please.

Β All this just to skip breakfast and cut out on milk.

Here is a little scenario of what I am getting at:

  • Sue Consumes 2 buckets of KFC during the week, 10 Long Island Iced Tea’s, Sex on the beach [literally] and 17 Bar one chocolates, because 25 hours a day and all.
  • Sue now decides that it is time to go on diet and change her lifestyle.
  • Sue Googles ways to lose weight.
  • Sue loves coffee just as much as Mandy
  • Sue stumbles upon Bulletproof coffee
  • And boom, fuck all the calories Sue consumed in the past, she is now all of a sudden scared of 100 calories of Milk in her coffee!

Won’t think twice before eating bucket loads of oiled up chicken, but God forbid she has her morning breakfast and Milk!

Hey Sue, so what did you have for breakfast?

Sue: Well I have cut out milk because of the calories, and I don’t really have time for breakfast.

So you just had a Tall Americano, black no sugar, on the run?

Sue: No, I made bulletproof coffee. It only took me 5 hours 32 min, had loads more calories than my shot of milk and it tasted absolutely shit, but my diet doesn’t allow milk!

Moral of the story: MODERFUCKERATION (pronounced: moder – fucker – ration)

4 Comments Add yours

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